Finished the writing part, the story has a beginning, a middle and even an ending. Next, the major rewrite, some of that beginning, middle and end tossed aside. Painful as it was those parts served no purpose in ‘this’ story.

I’m in the home stretch of going through and either accepting or ignoring my critique partner’s suggestions. Once I’ve finished this part I need to go back to the beginning and read it as a reader instead of a writer. There are things I know need expounding. Some are questions raised by my C.P. others are things I ‘know’ need to be added.

What do I do next? Pass it on to a couple of trusted Beta Readers. Collect their thoughts and questions and start the process all over again.

If you were living under the impression that writing is easy, you’d better wakeup. Writing is far from ‘easy,’ it’s hard work. If you’re not willing to put the time or energy into producing your best work you better find another vocation.

Maybe I’m too picky. With all the talented people out there, I need to do my ‘best’ work if I want a chance of seeing it in print. On that note, I need to get back to work.

Yes, I know I’ve shortchanged you. A teeny tiny post this month and none last, but it’s all about priorities. I’m sacrificing the posts to the gods of writing that I might have a saleable book. Keep your fingers crossed.

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The pages before me are nothing spectacular or eye catching, the basic form of the story, a rough draft.  A few pretty features mingled with the unsightly, overall its average at best.

‘Make me beautiful,’ beg the words on the pages.  ‘Make me sparkle.’

‘It’s only been a month since you where completed.  You still have that new manuscript shine.’

‘That won’t last.  One thorough read and it will be gone.  Every imperfection a lasting impression, my few good features a fleeting memory.  This is a tough business and I do not want rejection stamped across my title page because you were squeamish.’

‘But…’

‘No buts, you know perfectly well what I don’t like about myself.  You don’t like it either.’

‘Don’t you want to wait for a second opinion?’

‘You passed me on to a chosen few and comments have been made.  Many of which echoed your own.  In the end, you have the final say before sending me out.  So what’s it going to be?  Are you going to risk a foolish rejection or are you going to pick up that red pen and make me beautiful?’

Picking up the red pen is often the hardest and easiest thing I do, a strange combination of fear and elation.  What if there are so many red marks that it’s unfixable?  What if I can’t see beyond my own selfish love of the words and neglect to cut something that’s not needed?  What if, what if, what if…  Phffft, get over it.

What I have is bits of muscle and skin clinging precariously to the bones of a story.  Comments from my writing group and beta readers have been helpful in confirming some of my doubts and questions.  Now it’s up to me.

I finished printing it out, ready to read it from a reader’s perspective instead of a writer.  No pen yet, just reading.  Reading parts, especially dialogue aloud, looking and listening to the words.  Do they flow?  Are they awkward or do they stumble?  Am I confused, do I have to reread parts to understand what’s happening?

Once the initial read is accomplished then I’ll pick up the pen and start all over.  This time making notes of things that bothered me.  When that’s done guess what?  I’ll start all over again, this time looking for grammar and punctuation, misused, unnecessary and repetitive words.

The next step will be to take my notes and move back to the laptop.  I’ll remove the excess, move sections to where they will benefit instead of hinder, and implant where needed.  Then it starts all over again, until I’m satisfied that I’ve made the words on the page beautiful.

With a little patience, a lot of caffeine and the ability to retain some semblance of sanity, I just may end up with something worth sending out.

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I watched as my cuticle was carefully tended to, trimming away all the unwanted skin.  I realized this is what I needed to do with my story.  Trim the dead wording from around the original idea.  I knew I had added a lot of extra words which didn’t need to be there.   I have a habit of telling and not showing.  All it was doing was making the story boring, unattractive and a difficult read.  The extra words needed to go.  After all that was trimmed away it should leave me with the basic premise of the story I began with.

 Next I watched as a layer of dead skin attached to the bottom of my feet was exfoliated.  It didn’t need to be there.  All it was doing was making the bottom of my feet dry and unattractive.    So the next step in revising my story will be to scrap away the layers of dead calloused concepts which have managed to cling to the original story sucking the life out of it.  It seems no matter how you try to stay focused on the story line somehow these layers attach themselves becoming part of the story.   They will end up in the garbage just like what they scrapped from the bottom of my feet.

 When I am finished I should have a clean fresh copy of what I originally started with.  It should shine bright.  Buffed to it’s height of glory.  It should read as smoothly as a fresh pedicure.  l will take my story and massage it again applying just the right amount of grammar and spell check.  Now it should be ready to apply liberally a layer of new wording to take it from shiny, bright, fresh copy to spectacular and brilliant.  I can stand back and admire my hard work and appreciate a job well done.  I might even pull out the open toed shoes in celebration.

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                The first thing I got was the knowledge that I have some great writing friends. They’re supportive and knowledgeable and ready to jump in with an answer to some unexpected research questions or a plotting problem or to offer up a heartfelt yet simple “You CAN do it!”

                The second thing I learned was that I can, when motivated, write very quickly. If I always wrote as much and as fast as I wrote during timed sprints, I could have a book done in weeks. Which would be great, if my plots were ever cohesive the first time around. And that leads us to discovered item #3:

                The plot of my current WIP was MIA. I had a good grasp of my character, a potential premise, but absolutely nothing happened to her. She had experiences. Lovely, uplifting, life-affirming experiences. All great things, but not the things required to make a book. At least not a book anyone but my grandmother (who is passed, unfortunately) would find gripping. Come to think of it, even she would tell me it was crap and to figure out how to make it a proper book.

                So, in my Nano experience, I wrote a lot of scenes (23,000 words worth!) and in the process realized more than anything I was getting to know my character rather than actually putting steps into place. I’m not the least bit unhappy about it. Now I know what Gemma’s story is, and now I know what needs to happen in the other 75,000 words I need to write (and then cut, cut, cut and add, add, add).  

                The point is, Nano may have been intended to get a book out in 30 days, but I think you can consider yourself a winner if your novel benefits from the experience, 50,000 words or not. Building writing relationships, learning about your own writing capabilities, and finding the core of your story are as important as getting those words on paper (or in my case, screen).

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I don’t know about you but this scenario happens every time I set fingers to keys. I try to be the smart chick that defeats the monster, but alas, I end up the blond. Unfortunately without her fashion sense or endowments. Maybe that makes me the bumbling sidekick who thinks they have it figured out, but steps into the trap anyway. Either way it sucks having an ax planted in the middle of your story.

Those of us still fumbling our way through the forest of becoming published are often caught in the snares. Getting that opening just right or polishing a scene until it leaps off the page. Those that have gone before and survive to get there tales told, advise us to avoid such obvious traps. Don’t look back. Give yourself permission to write crap. You can always go back and fix it once the story is on paper. It sounds simple, but it’s not.

I find myself getting stuck in scenes that don’t ring true. They might be fine, but something about them isn’t right. So I start back at the beginning taking that proverbial ax to my baby. Hacking and slashing my way through, playing Dr. Frankenstein, putting it together in different forms. What’s wrong with that you ask. Everything! It keeps me from finishing the darn story. There’s nothing worse than ticked off characters crashing around in your head wanting the story finished so they can take a breather. Can’t blame them, I want one too. With the vicious cycle of self-editing, neither writer nor characters can move on to the next story.

I brandish a mighty red pen–just ask Sara–and my work shows the scars of its slicing and dicing. I can’t leave the darn thing alone! I’m a serial self-editor!

At this month’s meeting of the Saturday Writers I opened my big mouth and said I would use NaNoWriMo to finish Disenchanted. The girls will hold me too it and there will be a much deserved raking over the coals if I procrastinate. Hope I can hold up my end or at least come up with entertaining excuses if I don’t.

Anyone else out there a serial self-editor? How do you deal with the slasher mentality toward your work?

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