I Lost ‘It’

Somewhere along the line, I lost ‘it.’

My drive to see myself in print was still there. My passion for the story was there, obscured but still there. My inspiration was all around me, from the doll resembling the main character to the music I played. But none of that mattered, because I’d lost ‘it.’

In April, we went to see Trans-Siberian Orchestra and talk about getting bitch slapped. I could see ‘it.’ I could feel ‘it.’ I could damn near taste ‘it.’ Tears welled, heart pounded, the hair on my arms stood with an electrical charge I hadn’t felt in quite a while. The high they exuded was so intense my mind reeled.

What I saw and felt was unrestrained bliss and fulfillment; they were doing what they wanted to be doing. They not only reveled in what they were doing but also shared it, showing me the error of my ways and what I’d lost. I didn’t know what I’d lost until that moment. ‘It’ was the unbridled joy of sitting at the keyboard, doing what I wanted to do, write.

Somehow, somewhere I’d lost the pure joy I felt when I sat at the keyboard. Writing had become work. Work?! No, I’m not channeling Maynard G. Krebs, but I do empathize with him. Yes, writing is work, but when you have that unadulterated love in the mix, it doesn’t feel like work.

Now I’m off to sit in paradise and work…I mean do what I want to be doing.

Published by

A.R. Miller

A.R. Miller’s contemporary fantasy series, Fey Creations, has been compared to potato chips. ‘Absolutely no nutritional value, but fun to eat and highly addictive.’ A great complement considering potato chips are in the top five of her favorite foods and she strives to do nothing but entertain with her writing. The series revolves around stylist, Keely Fey, the secrets of her heritage and suppressed magical Talents. A.R. lives in Central Iowa with an accommodating husband and their feline companion. When not testing the patience of readers with cliffhanger endings, you might find her wielding a makeup brush or curling iron as a freelance stylist. The next installment of the Fey Creations series is scheduled for later this year.