Road Rage? Or Road Lust?

     Just about everyone has heard of road rage, most have experienced or been at the receiving end of it. In these tough days of high stress and financial difficulties, it seems everybody is in a hurry to be somewhere and not always considerate of other drivers that may get in their way. Tempers collide when volatile traffic situations end in messy accidents and fender benders. You throw together a myriad of personalities while filling out a police report and things get real interesting fast.

     Now that we know how road rage works, what about a little thing I like to call road lust? Let me paint you a picture.

     I was be-bopping along in my car yesterday, plotting a story in my head and trying to come up with a hero for my current story. Then, suddenly, there he was!

     A big beautiful Ford pickup truck passed and pulled in front of me. Its shiny black body, sparkling chrome trim and tinted windows just screamed Alpha male. I put my foot on the accelerator and made it my mission to tail him until I had his character fully formed in my head.

     Not-so-subtle hints into his personality were plastered all over the back window of the cab in the form of decals. I took note of each one and the process of hero profiling had begun. As I assimilated each decal in my head, a new detail of my hero took shape.

     The first decal – and largest – was one declaring him to be retired Army. That told me he was a man of honor, duty, and respect. A strong man with good moral character. Okay, those are all good qualities for my hero. I can use those. On to the next decal.

     The second decal showed a German Shepherd and declared it to be his best friend. Very good. All heros should be animal lovers. I like that. On to the next decal.

     The third decal had the profile of an eagle on it, and not in a grab-a-gun-and-kill-whatever-moves-in-the-woods kind of eagle. This was a let’s-save-the-species-before-it’s-totally-extinct kind of thing. The absence of a gun rack was good, too. I didn’t see a deer or pheasant decal so that told me he wasn’t an avid hunter – but, hey, this is my fantasy so I’m free to believe what I want to. The next decal confirmed his status as a “real” man.

     The fourth decal had a horse on it. Excellent! What woman doesn’t like a cowboy?

     The fifth and final decal on the back window of his truck was one of those E85 ethanol stickers. That told me he supported environmental efforts and energy conservation.

     Wow!

     I hadn’t even met this guy and he already packed a powerful punch! So he’s tough, proud, sensitive, and environmentally conscious. Now I had to figure out what he looked like. He pulled over into the left lane. I took that as an invitation to pull up beside him on the right. Time for me to check him out.

     Dang!

    Those tinted windows!

     I looked but couldn’t see anything. He slowed down and made a left turn, leaving me to continue on my way without him.

     He probably thought I was stalking him.

     Maybe I was.

     Oh well, I now have a hero for the story I’m writing. I never saw what he looked like but I can picture him in my head. Tall, dark and handsome, of course. A smile that crinkles at the corners of his eyes and deep brown eyes that turn your legs to Jello when he looks at you. Strong muscular arms, tight butt, and hands…oh, those hands! His hands are strong enough to crush a coconut but gentle enough to soothe a scared kitten he has just rescued from a tree.

     If it had been a minivan or compact car passing me in traffic yesterday, I don’t think I’d have my hero. Interesting how the car he drives can define the man in a writer’s mind. It’s all about setting and description. Admit it, ladies! Would that guy be as hot if he were driving a Yugo? I think not!

One thought on “Road Rage? Or Road Lust?”

  1. Great post Natalie. It was very entertaining and it totally made sense. It was a good thing his windows were tinted. It didn’t spoil the image. In my neck of the woods, he would have been under 5 feet tall, 110 lbs, bald, and missing half his teeth. That’s why I like fiction. Looking forward to next month’s post.

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