Why Put off What You Should have Done Last Year

Anyone who knows me should be aware that I’m more than a little bit superstitious. Anything can be interpreted as a “sign” of something telling me what to do. A cosmic message urging me in one direction or another. Fate. Everything happens for a reason. Karma. Well, you get the idea.

It’s not like I can’t make my own decisions. Sure, I read my horoscope… occasionally. But I don’t let it determine my activities for the day. Not much anyway. Sometimes. Okay, ever so often that darn horoscope is just too accurate to be ignored! The Cosmos has predetermined my destiny and I’m just along for the ride…I only wish I had a handbook to tell me the rules and regulations regarding that ride and what to expect on this journey. Oh well, I’ll just buckle my safety belt and try to enjoy the adventure.

Recently, Karma sent me a couple of little in-your-face messages. It was up to me to decide to ignore those messages or pay attention.

My first message came in the form of a nasty looking mole. Big, ugly, ominous. That mole told me my days in tanning beds had finally caught up to me. I was scared! I skipped over the first two stages of grief and landed squarely on stage #3 – bargaining. I started begging: if this ends up okay I’m going to do this, I’m going to do that, I’m going to be a better person, I’m going to make some changes… yada, yada, yada.

Doctor told me what has become a familiar horror story lately…”when you get older, your body changes and these are quite common, harmless” yada, yada, yada. Yuck!

Did I stick to the promises I made during that whole bargaining scenario?

Nope.

Second message came last week.

My mammogram showed a big nasty spot. They called. Wanted to run more tests. My heart started jack-hammering in my chest. The bargaining started again.

Test came back okay. I got the same speech, “when you get older, body changes, this is quite common, harmless”…you know the rest of the story.

Did I stick to the promises I made during that whole bargaining scenario?

I kinda think I did this time. I went out and bought a new car!

I made a change. Did something I’d been putting off, waiting for some other time to do, too scared to take the leap, afraid it would turn out bad.

That new car – I named her Maxine, by the way – has changed my life! I have self confidence I haven’t had in a long time. I feel powerful. The whole experience (and buying a car IS a wild roller coaster ride) made me look at other areas in my life where I needed to get busy. Things I’d been putting off for too long.

Then I got right back on a story – one of many – I’d been working on. I’d been discouraged because it wasn’t going anywhere and I didn’t know how to proceed so I’d almost given up on it.

You know what? Giving up on it wasn’t going to get me anywhere. I needed to keep going. Even if what I was writing turned out to be garbage later on, at least I was writing. And that is what second, third and even fourth revisions are for. You can’t revise something that isn’t there.

I entered a writing contest recently, spent the last three months waiting to hear back from the panel of judges. It was torture. I counted the days. Would they say my work was good? Would they trash it and tell me I should give it up? Did my whole future as a writer depend on what their comments were?

Luckily, I have just enough faith in myself to believe I have a future as a (published) writer. The judges had some constructive comments to make. I needed somebody – an impartial, experienced group of writers – to take a look at my work and boost my self confidence.  And that’s what I got. They were able to see where my weak parts were but at the same time tell me good things about my writing. They encouraged me to keep writing and told me I was good. 

So I’d been slacking off on my writing the past few months, waiting for these judges to tell me how to proceed. Now that I have a solid understanding where to start, I’m excited again. I can’t wait to get started and get my stories out there.

Look out world! Barnes and Noble better make some room on their Bestseller book shelves! There’s a new published author heading their way and they’re going to want to keep her bestsellers in stock!

One thought on “Why Put off What You Should have Done Last Year”

  1. I envy anyone who can spin things that would normally knock someone out of the ballpark into something positive!

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